trying again

today was the first day of my entire vacation wherein i was alone, just alone. i went through lots of old cds and then discovered a binder that had a short story i'd written. it was very good.. needs work, needs lots of work to be really good, but it was a powerful story in its rawness. i remember getting the idea from a tiny snippet of information in the newspaper and thinking myself talented for coming up with the idea in the first place. i miss those days. what happened to me? where did i go?
today i bought batteries and set up my palm pilot, and set up alarms to remind me about yoga, eating, vitamins, and the like. we'll see how it goes. i ate carbs for breakfast, protein and veggies for lunch, and had rice and seaweed for a snack (yuk, let me just tell you now). in a few minutes i have to go get iain and then go get taj and then get them home so i can go back to boulder to do yoga, and then to susan's house to do costuming. where did i lose my creativity? maybe that doctor was right, maybe i do need to be doing more.

at any rate, i'm doing the best that i can. iain didn't want to go to school today either, but i think he's just trying out the idea of not liking something. he'll get used to it. i dont' care if he succeeds or if he fails, and if i was more self-sufficient i probably would just teach him from home and not send him to school at all. just don't have that in hand yet to do. maybe one day.

found some old photographs of me, didn't realize how many years it has been since i've been really vibrant, really creative, really a part of the art world. i think i'd like to recover that somehow.